It is not always so easy to forgive, especially when we feel we have been wronged or hurt. We can change the way we look at a situation, understand that it’s not always personal and appreciate that there are so many layers to things. What we react to is indicative of something inside of us that needs attending to. Any challenging relationship or situation can actually play a significant role in our growth and can even be the catalyst for us to make some life changes. Once we can step back and acknowledge our part in how a situation unfolded, we gain clarity as to why we ended up there in the first place.
Our lives are as much an external journey as they are an internal journey into the depths of our soul. Every experience brings us closer and closer to our issues, revealing the baggage that is brought to the surface for us to see. Going through difficult, challenging experiences helps us discover the difference between the beliefs we hold which are true and those that are false.
Forgiveness is about releasing all resentment and bitterness, and setting ourselves free from any negative feelings that have the power to eat away at us and weaken us. We need to forgive ourselves for not being perfect. Many of us our own worst enemies. I have noticed with a lot of clients that when they start on a healthier eating plan they often times will have an all or nothing mentality. It doesn’t work that way, there are times when you are at a family dinner or out with friends and you overindulge in something. Don’t berate yourself for overindulging or straying from your plan. Forgive yourself for having been in the moment, enjoying the celebration or the comfort of food and get back on track the next day.
We all have past issues stored in our tissues and when someone inadvertently makes a comment to us that hits a nerve, it may be interpreted completely differently then what was intended. A client I work with has a hard time accepting compliments. When someone comments on her weight loss, she interprets it as if there is something wrong with her, needing to lose weight in the first place. This sets her on a downward spiral.
We can’t erase the past. Instead, we should honor it, forgive ourselves and realize that it helped shape the person we are today. A caterpillar can only become a butterfly with the struggle; if you try to help the caterpillar, it will die.
In order to be free, its important to let go of the anchors that are holding you back. There was a time when I had so much regret and wished I could go back and do things differently. I have come to realize that all those experiences have helped me become who I am today. For example, I would not have the deep empathy and understanding for others if I didn’t have those experiences.
We are not meant to be perfect. We didn’t get a life manual on how to be the day we were born. The beauty is in the imperfections and the small cracks that let light in. Forgiving yourself is as important as forgiving others. We all have areas in our lives that we need to work on. Make peace with your past and accept yourself with all your flaws and welcome more love into your life.
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